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Archive for May, 2008
May 31st, 2008
No really! Singer Songwriter, Steve Poltz was in the running of the weiners in Milwaukee, WI. Not the OFFICIAL running of the sausage, that’s in July, but fun all the same.
There were 5 sausages. I was the one in stripes. Polish sausage! It was one of the greatest days of my life. Unfortunately I lost at the races. I can’t make any excuses so I’m just going to lie and say I won. Yeah, that’s the ticket, I won.
One of the coolest things was running by in last place and hearing some drunken fan yell,”Hey Polish Sausage! You suck!” I was laughing so hard I thought i was going to pee in my suit.
Top 10 Excuses for losing the sausage race
1. I was drugged before the race by the mob who had money on a different sausage.
2. I was wearing tight jeans.
3. I ate too much kettle corn before the race.
4. The Polish sausage costume was loaded with weights,
5. Those other guys were younger and run the race all the time.
6. I wanted to lose.
7. My right leg is actually broken and my toes don’t bend anymore.
8. I was scared that one of the players on The Braves was going to hit me with a bat.
9. I bet on myself to lose and won big amounts off of the mob.
10. I’ve been cloned and I’m actually living in Tahiti.
Still can’t place Steve? He wrote Jewel’s hit, “You were meant for me” (and IIIIIIIIIIII was meant for.. YOU!)
Singer, diva, and mess, Amy Winehouse was almost an HOUR late to a show in Lisbon, Portugal last night. It’s so sad, but true. She apologized to the crowd, who booed her btw, and then gave an underwhelming performance. She sucked on throat lozenges, talked to the band, and at one point ran off stage.
Oh Amy, get help! If Britney can get help, so can you!
I’m off to the Sex and the City Movie y’all! I am so freaking excited. OH! Can’t forget the tissues, I’m going to need them. Good thing I’m wearing waterproof mascara.
